May Muses!

I honestly thought that this day would not come. I am graduating tomorrow!!! Well I’m technically not. I am walking in the Ceremony tomorrow but I won’t be actually graduating until the end of summer since I have to take summer school. Why is school so expensive?

I feel like I am walking out of college with a piece of paper that claims that I am a certified reader of various different Biology textbooks along with heavy shackles on my legs and my arm that costs about $11,000 each….

There was a lot going on this May. On the first day of May 2017, at the University of Texas at Austin, there was a stabbing incident. Total of four people were stabbed with one person, a Freshman boy, dying on the spot. On this day, (which was a Monday) I had gotten up early to go to my cardiovascular and weight training class at 8 am. Then I came home and took a shower. The day was cool and not so hot so I thought that it would be a nice day to study outside since I had my last round of finals. So after eating breakfast I headed out towards the CLA balcony area. This was about 11 am. But as I was walking it was sort of hot so I just decided to go to the Geology Library at JSG. I love studying there because its much more brighter than PCL and less prison feeling…

I was studying for my Plant Physiology exam and around 2 pm, I started getting Snapchats from my small group girls and texts from my roommate. They were telling me that a group of people are on a stabbing spree at Gregory gym and that the gym is now on lock-down. They told me that people are saying it was a group, 2~3 people and while one person was caught at Jester, the others had run away to McCombs. My roommate texted me that she was at McCombs and people were just running to get out of there. Someone even said that they saw someone with a gun!

Then there were all these rumors that the other perpetrators were in West Campus. A girl was threatened with a knife to take her sweater off so that the perpetrator could see her shirt and if the shirt had any Greek letters, the perpetrator was ready to attack. Apparently the perpetrators were targeting fraternities and sororities…I don’t know how these rumors were started but they spread like wildfires and people were warning each other on Twitter, Facebook, and Snapchat to stay away from campus but also to lock your doors if you were at West Campus. Then my roommate told me that her friend told her (I feel like this is how rumors start, you hear something from someone, they hear it from someone who hears it from someone, things get lost in translation, and the rest is history) that there was a perpetrator who sneaked into apartments and started to knock down doors! Someone in West Campus also reported of being stabbed!

All this time I was sitting in the Geology Library, (which was really quite btw) looking out the window. I looked up at the sky and the sky was so blue. It wasn’t like the gloomy blue, kind of grungy blue but just pure blue. I thought to myself, “why is the sky so blue?” These stabbing incidents do not occur frequently (praise God) but the sky is always blue. But when I looked up at the sky, I wondered, why? Why is the sky so blue today?

As a Christian, I believe that everything that occurs in our lives was planned in advance by God. And although it is hard to believe that He would plan such a tragic and painful event, I do believe that it was His plan. Not to just watch us suffer in pain but so that we can turn to Him for support and to trust in Him. To look to Him and Him only. It may sound to a non-Christian that we are justifying a tragedy because it didn’t happen to us. And I agree that conditions could be different if it were my friend or family member that got stabbed and killed or if it were me…But I think that even if it were me or my friend or my family member that got stabbed and killed, I would think that the pain and suffering was planned by God so that through that pain, through that suffering, His name could be glorified. Now I am not justifying or praising the crazy lunatic that started stabbing people. No. That is not what I am saying. I’m saying that it is times like these, where pain and suffering is being spread, that we need to come together and turn to God for support. Turn to God for hope. And pray. Pray that through the pain, we will become stronger.

Now this might be just my opinion, but I think the sky was noticeably blue that day because God was there with us. He showed that there was light. If this tragedy occurred on a gloomy day with rain pouring down, I think we would thought that we were completely alone in this dark world with a crazy lunatic running around stabbing people on Campus. The sky, I think, was blue to remind us that He was there. He saw us suffer, He saw the victims suffer, and He was there with them, suffering together, supporting us, and giving us hope.

As for the rumors, they turned out to be all false, as most rumors are. It turned out that the guy who reported being stabbed had actually cut himself while cooking and went to the hospital but he didn’t want to pay the hospital bill so he told them that he was stabbed. Now, this could be a rumor as well but that’s what was going around. The reason why the rumor of the perpetrator(s) targeting sororities and fraternities I feel is because no matter where you go, racial tension is not obsolete…

The perpetrator that was caught was a student at UT. He was a junior, Biology major. This kind of scared be a bit because I could have had a class with him. I most likely had a class with him since most science classes are HUGE. He is right now in custody and had appeared in court. He was charged with first degree murder and they are now questioning his sanity. I read somewhere that he had a mental illness or a condition that allowed him to commit this heinous act…

Another reason why the whole campus started freaking out was because UT, who is pretty good at sending out alarms to the students were pretty late to warn us this time. They are constantly notifiying use for alarms to test the alarms, alarms for robbers, larceny, shootings but they didn’t notify us of the stabbing until about an hour later. I mean I found out about the stabbing through Snapchat and Twitter as most people at UT had…

Anyways, the first week, which was the last week of midterms and class, started with this tragedy that I don’t think anyone who goes to UT (at this time) will ever forget. But the clock doesn’t stop ticking and everyone here at UT went back to their normal schedule: scurrying to class, final exams, and then for seniors to Commencement Ceremonies…

To be honest, the last round of midterms and my final rolled by pretty quickly. I had only one final which was on the 15th so as soon as class ended on Thursday, May 4th, I went home. I spent some quality times with my two dogs and many hours sleeping. Many. Hours. I slept so much that my back would hurt and I would have to get up, just to stretch out my back….I wanted to study (did I really, though) for my final exam but I just cannot study at home.

I honestly did nothing for a whole week that I was at home except for working out. Working out my thumb as I flipped through our Cable-less TV, through Netflix, and through Amazing Amazon Fire. It was a good break from school.

Then I came back to Austin to take my final and after that I sort of just felt, relieved. I felt like I had just turned a page in my life. A page PACKED with intense material…

I decided to hit up all the places that were on my list: My List of Places to go before I graduate! I feel like I was too eager, looking back on it but on the following day, the 16th, I went to three museums. I almost died afterwards. I’ll talk more about my experiences in my Letsgoctina post but I was so tired from that day that I didn’t do anything or go anywhere for the next two days lol. #sooutofshape

Tomorrow is my commencement ceremony. I don’t know how I feel yet. It still doesn’t feel like I’m graduating. When I was graduating high school, I felt very light-hearted and excited because I had finished! But I don’t quite feel that way. I feel like things are still unfinished, because they are, since I have to take summer school and all…I also feel a bit scared. I have decided to take a gap year and apply for medical school next cycle. I got my MCAT score (also the first week of May…like I said, tragic week) and I didn’t quite get the score that I wanted. I also feel like I don’t have enough on my resume and I want to build more experience working in a lab, more shadowing, more hospital experience before I commit myself to going to school again. I am not sure if I want to take the MCAT but maybe during the gap year I could. So that gives me actually two years before medical school (assuming that I get in) to work, to travel, and to experience the world outside of college. And this kind of, sort of scares me….

Anyways, this was quite a long post…I feel like I talked about all the main things that has happened this month….

I bought a mini sketchbook. I am not much of a drawer and I cannot do calligraphy but I am practicing! I bought the sketchbook because I wanted to just doodle. But for some reason, now that I have the sketchbook, I don’t know what to draw. lol.

Thanks for reading my rambling…I’m not sure if I made sense at all…heehee




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